File this article under “unsolicited hate.”

This is something that’s been getting on my nerves for decades and I just didn’t have an outlet.  Finally on this website I’m encouraged and paid very well to be mean and spiteful.

I hate people who put the word “gate” at the end of the name of every scandal.

Why do I hate them?  Because they’re fucking morons.

The reason Watergate was called Watergate was not because it had something to do with water and there was a scandal.  It’s because it took place in the fucking WATERGATE HOTEL in Washington, DC.  Here’s a photo of the hotel:

photo credit: bankbryan

Hell, they even have a website.   Why is this so hard to understand?  You can’t just put “gate” at the end of something to make it a scandal.

Plamegate, Nipplegate,  Spygate and (my favorite) Whitewater-Gate.  How lazy and stupid must you be to start attaching “Gate” to the end of everything even remotely resembling a scandal.  There’s even a list of them on Wikipedia.  Can’t think of a creative name?  Then call it the White Water Scandal!  Although I do wish they called the whole George Michael in a bathroom thing “Mastur-Gate” that would have been A-OK with me.

Why can’t these news anchors and the monkeys who repeat them day in and day out (normal folks) learn a little history.  The DNC headquarters was located in the Watergate Hotel.  Richard Nixon ordered some of his cronies to break in and steal information.  They were caught.  It was huge and caused him to resign.  He didn’t steal a bottle of water.  The French Revolution was not called Bastille-Gate.  This is not acceptable.

From now on, whenever you hear someone say “Anything-Gate” I want you to punch them square in the mouth.  That or educate them.  Blame me, I don’t care.  We’ll call it “I-Hate-Gate.”